ou don’t know what a Yemeni veiled chameleon is? That’s ok, we’ll learn together. According to the Smithsonian Handbooks guide to Reptiles and Amphibians, the Yemeni veiled chameleon is a small, extremely laterally compressed species of chameleon native to the humid southwestern corner of the Arabian Peninsula.
The truth is, I love reptiles. I love all the weird exotic pets you can think of: lizards, snakes, tarantulas, giant bugs, squawking parrots, all of them. Lizards especially have turned out to be my ideal pet due to their relatively relaxed nature, being noiseless and more or less odorless, and most of the time completely open to hanging out with a human, so long as that human is 1) warm, 2) not moving and 3) watching something interesting on TV. Before I moved to Japan I had a pair of bearded dragons which were about the most loving pets I’ve ever had, dogs included.
See, the thing about furry pets is that they’re very demanding. Dogs need constant attention or they go mental. Cats will suffocate you if you forget their seventh meal of the day, and rodents reconcile their existential crises by making as much goddamn noise as possible with four teeth and a metal cage.
But lizards are remarkably chill. They’ll tolerate human interaction but they don’t need it. Forget to feed your lizard? You’ll get a reproachful glare, but they’re not going to raise the dead over it. Want some time to sleep in on the weekends? No problem, they’re all for sleeping seventeen hours a day. And the best part of all is that they’re always the right temperature. If it’s a hot day, nothing feels better than a cold lizard belly on your chest. And in the winter? Coming home to a heat lamp warmed reptile is just the thing for those chilly fingers.
So, now that I’ve told you my ideal pet, how’s about you tell me yours?